Clouded by uncertainty of the future and callousness of the obnoxious world around me, it’s really hard to concentrate on the beauty and magic filled in every molecule of the wondrous air that surrounds the vicious calculating deceiving pseudo-smiling faces. I guess, that is exactly what makes those teeny-tiny precise moments, when beauty hits you in the face and you are overwhelmed by the design of the cosmos, precious and worth holding on to when they cease to exist.
That’s what, to summarize it, went through my mind the other day, as I sat behind the wheel listening to one of my favourite songs (Save me by Tyler Blackburn) at a dangerously high volume in my car. In that moment, as I was screaming along to it, every inch of me rejoiced and felt at peace in ways that are hard to exactly put into words to form an accurate description. But to try to do that, it was as if nothing else in the world existed, no sadness, no melancholic rhetorical questions tossing around in my mind, no awkwardness, darkness, anger, pride, nothing. Just me and what made me ecstatic. In that precise moment, I had found my elixir, my nirvana. It was a rare moment of clarity, when I knew I was exactly where I was meant to be, doing what I was meant to, as if it was sanctioned by the higher power. That feeling of belonging somewhere, of being a piece to a puzzle that fits perfectly, a thoroughly rare moment of beauty.
It’s like running in the ever soft tenderly chilling breeze, feeling the ground under your feet push you forward to reach that destination that is meant for you, getting so used to the motion that you aren’t running anymore, in fact you’re flying. Like the feelings in your heart when you spot a firefly at midnight illuminated by the effervescent moon turning grease and gold, everything good or bad to silver, hiding every ugly crevice while highlighting the hidden beauty in everything. Like paragliding over the crystal blue ocean glistening in the sun, beckoning Aphrodite to open the window of heaven and gaze at her reflection in the waters. Like lying in the grass in midsummer watching the stars shine brighter than any other worry, snide comment or cruel word ever enunciated. Like listening to your favourite song for the first time ever and waltzing around all by yourself, with your eyes shut, dreaming of another universe. Like being said the exact words your soul has always wanted to hear. When written words, scenic verses and strokes of brushes speak to you, louder than any sound ever has. When life doesn’t consist of the usual elements, but colours, sounds, smells and feelings that are heightened to an extraordinary level.
Those moments of clarity, when you know what’s happening was meant to happen all along, when you know that you’re home, even though you might be miles away from it. When every superficial thing ceases to exist, those are the true pearls of human existence. Those are the moments and sentiments close to my heart that run on the screen of my mind right before I close my eyes and fall asleep. And somehow, I just know that no matter how dark and broken everything seems right now, I’ll end up fine and happy, with the memories of these moments acting as my Polaris guiding me home in their divine shimmering light.