Dear Boy I hung out with who is ghosting me,
and by ghosting I mean
pretending I’m a ghost every time he sees me,
Hi. Haven’t said that word to you in a long time.
I actually don’t know if we ever dated,
and if you’re confused about how that happened, hang on
but the way you act around me makes me feel that we did
because the air around us has the uncomfortable stench of heartbroken exes
and by that I mean I get the vibe that you want to murder me.
Okay, maybe that’s exaggerating.
Maybe it’s more like looking forward to sound of my neck breaking
or waiting for a piano to fall over my head like in the old movies,
or just hoping that I’ll evaporate into thin air
or hoping you’ll make me care?
Now that I think of it, everything about you is an enigma to me,
including the fact that I missed all the blaring red flags I could see.
So I invited you to the music festival, and you said yes
and I invited you to the movies, and you said yes
then I invited you to my house, and you said yes
and then I invited you to look at the paintings of the stars with me, and you said yes,
and I invited you to lie on the grass with me, and you said yes
and you did actually lie. Literally. To me.
When you told me you’re a sensitive guy.
Should have just told you, “Boy, bye.”
Because whenever they say they’re specifically something or someone,
girl, you better grab your things and run.
So after all of that, I invited you to the park with me, and you said no
I invited you to go ice skating with me, and you said no,
So I asked you if something was wrong between you and me, and you said no,
and I asked you if you’re angry with me, and you said no,
and then you went on to say some mean things to me and I should have said no,
but I didn’t. I apologised instead.
I took you to look at the city lights with me instead.
But all the while I was watering the plants in my apartment that are dead.
So now that you hold her hand everytime I’m in the room
and oh so casually say out loud all your plans with her when I’m in the room
taking her to all the places I took you to dance
Honey, remember these words every time you get the chance,
I no longer care.
© That Girl in the Fray, 2019. All rights reserved.