Fast forward to when I’m just a girl you used to know
in moments that burnt with the blaze of a hundred blinding suns on a November day.
Fast forward to when our time together is pierced into hollow moments,
spent with a girl you can talk about without feeling anything anymore.
I will forget my footsteps spent chasing you
I will forget my words wasted on you
I will forget everything to make space
I will forget everything to the point I don’t remember your face
I will spend time to collect the pieces you broke
so I can build a new home
on the edge of the river when I can hear the rain fall.
Maybe then I’ll learn to weather the storm
that tends to tear me apart.
I will put back everything together, except one piece
which I will throw away into another universe
so that I’m never whole enough for you to take again
and I’m never pure enough for you to taint again.
I will wait for the day when I can talk about you
the way you talk about me
and then fill my notebooks with lessons I can draw,
when you’re just a boy I used to know
and my feelings are six feet under in the land of wastefulness.
© That Girl in the Fray, 2018. All rights reserved.