Here you go again, typing crap in a hidden blog like a sissy
You lack the courage to come out clean, little missy
Taking on a challenge no one challenged you to take
Another blunder in a bag of your million mistakes
You hide behind a pseudonym because you’ve got no real friends
All you do is pretend to stray away from the mainstream and the latest trends
You know shit but act all prim and high and mighty
In reality you don’t even compare to the puke of Aphrodite.
Your lethargy, dead motivation and fall from grace
Don’t even compare to the size of your fat face
You can’t even remember your favorite quote or character or even what you read in the morning paper
Your common sense would improve the day parallel lines taper
Your call yourself a writer but have never been published
Two half written novels, a failed blog and a pile of crap is all you have to show for it.
Your writer’s brain gets blocked more than stalkers do on facebook,
People prefer, rather than reading your cliched words, to hang themselves by a fish hook.
You can’t rhyme, you can’t write, you can’t even make ends meet
You have no friends to text, so what you do all day is tweet.
You can do nothing better than sit watching Korean Dramas and old Anime.
You’ve never been in love because you are a cliche.
You can’t keep a friend more than you can help look like a runny egg yolk.
You pretend to be funny and witty but your whole life is a bigger joke.
(The Roast Yourself Challenge is a social media challenge, the goal being to make a video in which you make fun of yourself. I took this to a new level and turned it into a weird sonnet full of self loathing that will keep me up all night crying. Jk. I think this is the most fun thing I’ve done in a while.)
© That Girl in the Fray, 2016. All rights reserved.